Proud Lady-Child

I came across an article in the bible that pretty much hit the nail on the head for me. It talks about exactly how I've been feeling over the past few months...or basically since I turned 18. Let's just call it what it is: the past 5 years.

Since going through two moves, getting a full-time job, taking on my very own bills yet still relying on older, "wiser", and more experienced folks for some financial assistance I have come to terms with exactly where I am in life. I understand that I am not a girl, not a teen, definitely a 20-something female, but am I a woman? I feel like something should have happened to trigger my grown-ass woman realization. Maybe it will happen when I get married? Maybe when I have my first child? Right now though...not quite there yet.

You might have Lady-Child Syndrome if...

- As much as you might think you know what you're planning on doing with your career, you still have no idea. You have a degree, you have a job...yet you haven't completely ruled out being an astronaut or professional food taster.

- Traveling, of any kind, is an adventure to you. In fact, anything super-stable that may prevent you from doing that is seen as "holding you back". Can I live?

- Continuing your education is a way of prolonging being a student. Just admit it.

- Everyone around you is either getting married or having children. Everydamnbody. Even the ones who you just knew would never find love.

- The idea of having children or getting married is just about as scary as the thought of being kicked off your family's cell phone plan. So in a nutshell, there go your priorities.

- You'd prefer to be referred to as "an emerging adult" or a "woman-in-training".

This would explain why I love the hell out of shows like Girls, 2 Broke Girls, and New Girl...also, the fact that all three of those shows have "girl" in the titles is just a weird coincidence that I just now noticed while typing this.

I'm not complaining though. I'm still a very responsible young adult who is enjoying her youth but thinking about the future. I am in absolutely no rush for full-on adult problems. Am I using this "lady-child" syndrome as a crutch? Perhaps. But some of the things I've listed above don't apply to me as much as they used to and I'm starting to move past them. One bad-decision-turned-moral-lesson at a time.

Talking about my Generation

Two weeks ago my boyfriend graduated college and I couldn't be happier for him. Partially because it was high time he graduated that mofo, but mostly because he was ready to take that next step and it's an exciting time. I can admit that this time last year I was slightly envious of him. Yes, I was done with school but I wasn't going on to "bigger and better things". Not immediately, anyway. He still had his college security blanket, his close friends living a few feet away from him, and I was mentally preparing myself to go back to La Madre.

In fact, my bf wasn't the only person I was close to who was staying in school. I felt like everyone had an extra semester or year tucked away somewhere, and I couldn't wrap my head around it. But then something  happened. The summer ended, I found a way to move out on my own, got a job within my field and I never looked back. It doesn't happen all the time, but it does happen, folks.

Now that some of my closer friends have graduated (at last) I'm extremely proud of them, not only because of what they've accomplished but because their attitude after graduating is way more optimistic than mine was. I'm generally a happy-go-lucky kind of person, but even I can admit that post-grad life scared me. The 20-something's I've talked to about their recent graduations don't all have jobs lined up but they're prepared to work and market themselves. I think in a lot of ways this generation of young adults is thought to be self-concerned (true), self-centered (true), self-entitled (very true), but we can also be self-sufficient. There's no shame in going back home if you're working hard to get out, and if you're temporarily unemployed just remember that it's only temporary.

My best advice to grads who have failed to realize the above is this: stop looking for a hand out. No one owes you a damn thing. You've made it this far, so keep the momentum going.

Ways to keep busy when sick

When I get sick, my body has very predictable stages. It's been this way for as long as I can remember. It starts off with a scratchy through one morning when I wake up. I always think that immediately downing Emergen-C will help fight off anything more serious coming my way and without fail, I always don't have Emergen-C.

Because of consistent fail, the full-blown cold that follows usually lasts for two weeks (yes, TWO weeks) and I find ways to keep my mind off it. Such as, but not limited to...

• Purposeless online shopping. This weekend I bought a slave bracelet (why? Because I saw Vanessa Hudgen's wore it. Obviously.), a bedazzled iPhone case meant for someone 10 years my junior, as well as various things from Forever 21 and Urban Outfitters that I'm ashamed to go into detail on because they found the perfect time to prey on me. I was weak.

• Go outside and spread your illness. I was that person on the train who everyone looks at like they have the plague (sorry). Somehow Bath and Body Works convinced me to buy 6 lotions, sprays, and body washes! What is it about President's Day that makes people think sales are appropriate?

• Clean. I thought to myself, "How can I make my life easier for when I finally get better? Clean the entire apartment!" Am I the only one who makes epic plans for after they recover from a cold? In a way, a cold is your body's way of telling you to chill the f*ck out and stop messing with it.

• Work out. You'd be surprised how motivated you can get when you have a cold. I was trying to sweat out the cold (does that work?), and also tell myself that since my body was trying to get rid of germs, it certainly could get rid of a couple of those pesky calories. What, like it's hard?

• Make your significant other feel like their sole purpose is to nurse you back to health. J was out of the country or on some school-related trip in New York (same difference) so every chance I got I reminded him that it was his responsibility to take care of me and he was failing as a boyfriend. Dramatic? Yes, considering I was shopping, cleaning and going out like nobody's business.

• Read that book that's been sitting on your nightstand. This was part of me "bettering myself" so that once I felt better, I'd feel like I accomplished something.

I'm backwards. I get motivated to do more when I don't feel well and now that I'm 96% back to normal, I just want to lay on the couch and eat mini cupcakes.

Next up: Valentine's Day

I am over joyed for Valentine's Day this year.

If you haven't noticed, I completely feed in to commercialized holidays. I like the idea, and them forcing you to spend time with your loved ones/friends to celebrate unnecessary spending. To me, it's only for a couple of days out of the year when (almost) everyone's mood is elevated because of all the love in the air.

Cheesey, fine. I can admit to that, but why not celebrate it? It shouldn't be once a year - it should be every day - but because this ONE day was singled out and you get to be surrounded around other sweethearts, just enjoy it. Even if you're single, I'm sure there are people around you who you love. Enjoy that. And if there's no one around you who you love, love yourself especially hard for the day.

Another reason I'm excited for Valentine's Day is because I can't wait to ball my eyes out for The Vow. I purposely try to provoke emotions out of myself so I'll go pay to see movies I know I'll be too scared to watch through open eyes and that are guaranteed to make me cry.  I have convinced J to take me to see this even though he's a regular guy who hates romance movies and this movie is like about 3 other Rachel McAdams movies I've seen before. 

Be honest, doesn't an itty bitty teeny tiny part of you kind of want to see this movie? 

Life Lessons

"The difference between school and life? In school you're taught a lesson and then given a test. In life you're given a test and then taught a lesson".

- Tom Boddett

Such is life. 

I've been learning that a lot of people (okay, not a lot, but some) that I've hung out with high school and even in college still have a lot of growing up to do. I know that you're always learning and growing in life, but there should be a certain point when you reach a level of maturity that can make you admirable. A role model, even. Now I'm not saying "I have arrived" or anything, but I'm happy and proud of the place I am in life right now.  I think once you can accept and understand the above quote, you're getting there.

Why the Real World doesn't care if you were Prom Queen

After spending an extended weekend back home in the 'burbs for Thanksgiving, I took full advantage of my time with my twin little brother and sister and reminisced about my high school days. They're going through the insignificant but common teen stage where they just want to fit in yet want to stand out - but in a good way. It's all "so very complicated" and I "just don't understand". Talking to them about what they really want out of life, their feasible hopes and dreams or even something that isn't on BET's 106 & Park is kind of like trying to teach yourself sign language. It's a cool idea at first, but then you realize that you might only use what you learn maybe twice again in your life if you're lucky. And no one will be impressed.

My biggest message to them was that who they are in high school (they're 15) will in no way, shape or form dictate who they'll become in 10 years. Unless, of course, they're on heavy drugs or currently dealing with teen pregnancies, which neither of them are. I wanted them to know that they had time to think about how they wanted to be perceived by the world. If you're not planning on going pro, it won't matter if you played varsity or JV lacrosse in high school. Yes, you'll meet some great people and learn the value of teamwork but said people probably won't associate themselves with you after you graduate. Sorry, but it is what it is. There are those rare occasions when you actually do keep in touch with your highschool buddies, though . . .do any of you guys still speak to people from when you were younger? I'll wait.

I figured the sooner they came to terms with this, the better. I know how important it is to be liked when you're surrounded by your highly judgmental peers on a daily basis but I promised them these people will not matter. Your junior prom queen may have it all together now spending daddy's money and struttin' a body that's about 5 years too developed but after you graduate, no one really cares if you were prom queen.

Trust me, I know.

No, I was not prom queen - ew! But I am incredibly perceptive and great at starting conversations. I did a crapload in both high school and college, made friends with the people who were "destined for success" and can I tell you that the only people who really care what you did in high school are the unfortunates you'll find frequenting the same bars? In that case, and that case only, being an alleged prom queen may get you a few drinks.

I tried explaining this to them and do you know what my little brother told me?

He asked me to post his tumblr on my blog. Apparently, he's "Tumblr Famous".

I wanted to go on a rant about how no one cares if you're 'tumblr famous' either but then I remembered that they are the next generation. Maybe they care. For now at least.

You know you're a journalist when

Because I love all my writer-types out there. . .

Some of these are mine and some I found online. All made me smile. 

• You can spend an unspecified amount of time in Starbucks sipping on the same "tall", overpriced drink. . .as long as they don't come at you for using their Wi-fi to update your blog, write your article, etc.

• While you may not agree with their methods of reaching success, you can appreciate the journalistic endeavors of the stars in the Devil Wears Prada, How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days, Sex and The City and yes - even Harriet The Spy. You understand the necessity of her notebook remaining confidential.

• Deadlines are of the utmost importance to you. In fact, you happen to work your best when you're only allotted a finite amount of time to produce something extraordinary.

• It drives you CRAZY when people don't know the difference between "too", "to", and "two." In fact, you're genuinely hurt when they misspell anything and don't correct it, and have to hold back from voicing it for fear of being "that guy."

• When you really start writing you go somewhere within yourself and sometimes, when you come out, days have passed, babies have been born, and pets have gone unfed.

• You have a deep appreciation for Apple Products - not all, but some. If only you could afford them.

• Whenever you're sending anything serious - email, text, whatever - you re-read it at least twice, checking for any spelling/mistakes or more importantly, if you can think of better "25-cent" word choices.

• You consult either of these books for those quarter words:

 

*Cough*Iownboth*cough*

• You're able to hold a conversation on just about any topic for at least 10 minutes from things floating around in your brain from pass research.

• You understand that Google does not = research. Not completely, anyway.

• You consider yourself fluent in sarcasm. To you it is indeed a language that not many people can decipher, but those who can are awesome in your book.

• You love a good quote. In fact, you can center a whole story around a quote if need be.

• Post-its help keep you sane.

Am I missing any? Let me know :]

Why my mom shouldn't be texting

I'll admit that I'll respond faster to La Madre's texts than I would to her non-existent phone calls (apparently, she can never find the house phone), but I need her to learn some texting etiquette. Textiquette, if you will. Just a little, not a lot.

This is because I love you, Mom.

Photocredit

This picture in no way, shape or form meant to represent how my mom looks. She's actually a fairly young mom  - not like a regular mom, like a cool mom. For the purposes of this post however, it does accurately capture her relationship with her cellphone.

Rule 1 - You can't. . well, shouldn't text sentences one at a time. Unless you have some horribly limited character count (which you don't) on your cell phone, you can just send everything at once. That way my phone doesn't have to vibrate constantly for a

text that's

sent

like this.

Rule 2 - I've said it before and I'll say it again -- when you text in caps, in tech-speak, you are yelling. I know you're not really such an angry person but that's because I'm your daughter. Others (like those who you e-mail) might not be as forgiving.

Rule 3 - I want to say 90% of the time, when I send you some version of an emoticon you have no idea what's going on. You think it's a code or a typo. Or this:

La Madre: My boss sent me home early because I was sick

Me: Uh oh :O

La Madre: What is that? a monster?

La Madre: How did u get it?

La Madre: Waaaaaaaaa :(

I'm just going to put it all on the table for you:

:) Smiling

:( Sad face

:o) Me being 'cute' and smiling

>:(  PISSED

O:( Innocent Nhya

>.< Frustrated Nhya

:O Shocked and Appalled Nhya

-.- The face I make when you ask me to help you make a Facebook

It would be so much easier for me to express myself to you if you'd kind of. . I don't know, study these? Just a little, not a lot.

Rule 4 - If you call me and I text you and then you call me again, I'm not going to answer. Let's just get that straight from now. I'm probably not in a place where I can talk (like work) so a series of texts asking me why I can't pick up the phone will only be answered with texts, never a phone call. 

Hopefully this will help not only my mom, but parents across the nation who are dealing with a communication barrier between themselves and their children.

17-year-old Carry meets 22-year-old Carry

For all of you who are mathematically challenged (like I am) that's a 5 year difference. Duh.

This time five years ago I had been a college freshman for a few weeks and I'll be honest, I wasn't sure of myself. I wasn't sure how I would assimilate into that University, especially since I was very much a "people pleaser" - I wanted to get along with everyone, I wanted to do everything, and I wanted to make sure I did all of that without failing out or compromising myself. But although there were times when I got stressed or overwhelmed in school, I never once wanted to rush out of there. I knew that my college years would be the best years of my life, and they have been. So far.

Me at 17 with my lovely braces on the left, 21 on the right. I miss the burgundy-ish hair. Can't lie.

And now here I am, 22-years-old with a brother who just started college and siblings not far behind and I can't help but feel like there's a brand spankin' new chapter of my life unfolding. Everyone warns you about how much "the real world" isn't a joke. No one's going to hold your hand - you either sink or you swim. Now I don't want to say that I'm beyond that advice (y'all know I was nervous), but what if you prepped yourself so much for what was going to come that you're not experiencing any culture shock? I wouldn't say I have a full-proof plan, but I'm feeling good about things to come. I've learned (and continue to learn) that I cannot and will not please everyone. . .I just have to do what's right for me. And right now what's right for me is to compare my 17-year-old goals to my 22-year-old ones.

At 17 in 5 years I wanted to:

• Get a new network of non-high school friends by the time I graduated. Check!

• Get a license. Eh. . .not so much. And now basically living in the city hasn't helped with that. But it WILL happen!

• Meet someone I love spending time with, can be myself with, and won't make me want to attempt homicide. Check!

• Study abroad. This hasn't happened yet but I can go abroad without "studying" there.

• Graduate college with honors. Check! Ideally, I was supposed to graduate into a job. Let's give this a half-check.

And now, at 22 in 5 years (hellooooo, 27) I want to:

• Visit Europe at least once.

• Finally have my tattoo *cough*andthatlicense*cough*.

• Be set in my career, whatever that might be.

• Hopefully about to start a family with  a bunch of little CarryMels and Js. I'm not big on kids (no secret), but I feel like I might like my own.

• Be a certified Zumba instructor - everyone laughs at me when I say this but I am so serious. It's something I enjoy doing! 

I kept the list short and sweet, but there's a lot more I want to do in 5 years. I think constantly keeping sight of your goals helps a lot with making them realities, but I also think leaving a little mystery and not stressing them is what makes the ride more enjoyable.

What about you guys? What's one thing you really want to see yourself do in 5 years?

PS - I've been slackin' on my mackin' by not being consistent with my Tell 'em how you feel Tuesdays but I'm going to get that back up and running. I'm also thinking of doing something like a "Featured Follower" every week or so to help cross promote other blogs. Gotta plan that out. Oh! And I want a site button :], but I need help making one, lol.

Holla. It's my birthday!

*Busts a Dougie*

Yes, you've heard (read?) correctly. The day has arrived.

I know I've talked about celebrating here and here, way beforehand, and I've confused a lot of you but THIS IS LEGIT. July 27th, 2011 is here and I'm 22 years old!

To commemorate this new year in my life and start my countdown to 30 (wahhh! :(), aside from chronicling the f.cktivities I partake in (which will be outlined in further detail after this weekend), I'd like to share my 22nd year of wisdom with all of you. Some of you might have already realized these things at a younger age or still haven't realized it yourself, but I'm sharing it anyway.

Life has a way of re-routing your plans and to enjoy it to the fullest, you just have to go with it. Everything will work itself out. Don't be afraid of new experiences and new people and certainly don't dwell on old things. Those things happen to make you a better person today.

So there ya have it. Gotta take my own advice!

Also, I wanted to shout out all of you guys for being such awesome followers once again. I'm like, 5 followers away from 100 and I've only been actively updating this blog for like a month. I love that you guys care enough to read what I write or even to comment on anything. Loves it. *throws glitter everywhere*

Ohh, and special shout out to Rose and Miss Sassy Pants for sharing this birthday with me! I don't want to toot my own horn, but I'm inclined to believe that Leos born on July 27th are made from some of the best stuff on earth because everyone I met with my birthday is so awesome, it's almost not fair.

Work itttt!

"Confidence is key. It's an accessory you should never leave the house without."

Feeling completely inspired by these past couple of few days of ingenious tweets I've been having, and because I'm actually in a great mood I decided to do an inspirational post. I'm going to be a little diva for this because I don't think you can write about confidence in a modest way. You need to be ruthless - so that's what you're about to get.

Pretty much every self-help-relationship-y book will tell you that confidence is something that attracts people to you, and I completely agree with that. To me, there's nothing sexier than confidence (Besides, like good common sense. Because a lot of people lack that). However, I think that your confidence should come from within, not from what someone else tells you. If you're truly confident in your self, it'll show. It's when you doubt yourself, and you second-guess yourself that people begin to do the same. Yes, everyone has something they can build upon and life is a constant journey of discovering who you are, but once you realize you have something going for you - work with it!

Everyone has something they're good at and it's beautiful to see them come to that realization. Nothing tugs at my heart strings more than seeing someone who doesn't believe in themselves, whether it's their physical appearance, talents, etc. My younger sisters (14 and 9) are at that age when they're extremely caught up in what others think of them, and that's understandable. But believe me when I tell you that I am never the one to shoot down their dreams. I can be overly dramatic and gas their heads up (I'm known for asking them to whip their hair for me. Just because), but I do it because I want them to believe in themselves as much as I do. And even though they're twice my siblings' ages, I do the same for my friends. You have to love you.

Another thing: Don't get wrapped up in comparing yourself to other people. Even I have been guilty of that in the past. If you admire something about someone, do just that - admire it, don't copy it. Don't hate on it. And if it means that much to you, start making changes to get yourself to the point where you want to be. Just be extra careful not to loose sight of who you are along the way.

This post isn't to tell you to have a big head. To me the only thing more off-putting than someone doubting their abilities is someone being too full of themselves. You need to find a balance.

Back when I use to read consistently

I swear reading really does help your vocab and it saddens me when people dismiss it. I get that it's not fun to read school assignments that you have no interest in but for you to tell me you only read magazines or what you see on your computer screen makes me worry about the future state of our country. I'd much rather force a book into my kid's hand than a video game.

Anywho. . .

These are some books that I enjoyed back when I use to read because right now I'm one of those people who only has time to read magazines.

Four Books

1. The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom - so freakin' good! Another thing in the world that made me cry.

2. My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult- Read the book, the movie does NOT do it justice.

3. Addicted by Zane - This book? THIS book was what made me realize that you didn't need to watch a movie to be completely entertained. There's a lot of sexual things (clearly - it's Zane), but the plot is actually really good once you get past that.

4. The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold - Another one you should really read the book on. Don't just watch the movie.

I f'd up. . .

& didn't blog at all yesterday because I spent the day at the mall *valley girl shrug*, but guess what? I'm going to do back-to-back blog posts for my challenge. A day late, but twice the fun.

Three Movies

(Do you have any idea how hard it is to narrow this down to just three movies?)

1. Pulp Fiction (1994)

I'm a big Quentin Tarantino film head, and while I wouldn't venture to say that this is one of the best films ever made, it's definitely one of his best. This is a movie I could watch over and over again, right up there with Forrest Gump and Cast Away (I'm also partial to Tom Hanks movies). I have a thing for chick flicks but I do appreciate quality movies.

2. Now and Then (1995)

This is my favorite movie on the low (well, not so much since I'm blogging about it now). I use to watch this with my cousin like it was the only movie in the world. Even though I'm not 12 anymore and can't really relate to the pre-teen issues the girls faced in this movie, that doesn't change my opinion of it being one of my favs. I'm comfortable with it and it goes right up there with my fav chick flicks like Mean Girls and Clueless (movies that I feel everyone with a vag needs to watch once in their life).

3. The Time Traveler's Wife (2009)

I'm gunna add this one because I like movies that make me cry and I can't really think of other tear-jerkers at the moment. Love stories, or overtly dramatic movies hold a special place in my heart so if you're into that, you'll be into this. Also - this movie will make you be grateful for the relationship that you have because it could always be a lot worse.

I'ma Hustler (Well, I'd like to be)

This summer it has become painfully obvious that the modest income I'm generating on a daily basis is not suitable for the lifestyle I'd like to become accustomed to. In my mind, I want to live like a young Carrie Bradshaw (surprised?) but since that may be aiming too high for a recent grad I'm willing to economize. A little.

I actually want to take on an additional job of some sort to add to the two I've already got. If I do this, I can stop only ordering glasses of water with lemon to drink when I go out. My only problem is that I'm hella picky, with no special skills besides maybe being a personal shopper. Let's look at some options, shall we? Maybe you'll get inspired.

Top 5 College Student Legal Carrymel-Approved Side Hustles

1.) Babysitting - It's pretty easy, assuming the kids you're watching aren't medicated and you've got more common sense than they do. If you get enough referrals or a family that really likes you, you can have a steady amount of cash flowing every week which means new shoes, a paid phone bill, possibly money towards a tattoo - the works. You sit in a house, eat up all their food (and blame the kids, obviously) and play a couple of board games or watch a show to keep the little ones occupied. If you're lucky, you might get a kid who's too young to ask questions about why you paint your nails so often or if you and your boyfriend will ever get married.Serious about it? Visit a site like Sitter City and register or just tell people through word of mouth.

My con - I love kids. I do. I especially love them when they're at that age where they believe everything you tell them. What I've realized about myself is that I love kids a lot more when they're not my responsibility. Something about me having their life in my hands is a turn-off.

2.) Tutoring - If there's anything, and I mean anything, that you are remotely good at, try to teach someone and get paid for it. This is another one that might involve kids so if you're good with them and patient, give it a go.

My con - I'm normally really good at highlighting my accomplishments but to be honest - besides writing - there is nothing I feel qualified to teach America's youth about. I can't play any instruments, I am horrible at math, and I toyed with the idea of playing sports in HS - none of which I mastered. Unless maybe a semester of Color Guard in marching band is considered useful experience. I think I did too much of everything and not enough of one thing.

3.) Senior Citizen Assistance - I feel like you probably need to be spot-checked like crazy so it may not be the easiest thing to get into but people will pay you generously for taking care of their parents. You'd be surprised. You'll have to cook a little, clean (a lot), do laundry, talk to them and such. Basically, keep them alive by making them feel alive.

My con - Everyone who knows me knows that the elderly make me more nervous than the children. Any cough, randomly shouted obscenity. . .pretty much anything unscheduled will freak me out and lead me to think they might die on me and I couldn't live with that. I'm also not the biggest fan of giving baths to people I'm not related to, or people period.

4.) Ebay or other selling sites - Everyone collects something, even if it's dust. If you have a collector's item that would be lucrative to sell or if you can make something that others would buy (ie: baked goods, clothes) why not get paid for it?

My con - The only thing I can sell that I own are all of my Sims 2 expansion packs or Hello Kitty memorabilia. None of which, at age 21, I'm ready to part with.

5.) Bartending! - If you have money to spare to pay for some classes, bartending can be a very respectable side hustle, and it comes with tips. I have a few friends who are helping make ends meet by doing this. Get certified and apply everywhere, even if you need to embellish on your experience to land some gigs.

My con - I don't have a big con for this one, actually :) My only fear is that my personality will be over-shadowed by the skimpy outfits I'll be forced to wear (or force myself to wear) to get big tips. Oh, and I'm not a night person.

I don't know, folks. I'm thinking of being a professional scrap-booker. People pay for that, right?