Tuesday, July 6, 2010

At last, a trend I can get down with

What's all the hype about?
Featuring Circle Contacts


I knew that one day having big, beautiful, dove-like, cartoony, exaggerated eyes would be the "in" thing. I knew myself and my fellow baby-doll eyed people would get their day. Apparently, this day came a while ago and I'm just now finding out about it. Damn shame.
The big circular lenses give the appearance of larger eyes and can be purchased for $20 online (plus shipping and handling, of course). People seem to think that GaGa brought it to America with her 'Bad Romance' video, but they've been popular ever since people first started getting into anime.

Tutorial/News-ish video.

I'd like to take this time to personally say SUCK IT to those in my past who have told me that my eyes look like something along the lines of "a deer in headlights." Hmph.

Disclaimer: If you haven't already figured it out, I do not wear these contact lenses. Au natural, baby. But if you do decide to wear them, be aware that they pose the same risks as regular contact lenses and are not FDA-approved. Have fun now.

Monday, July 5, 2010

The Masquerade: Best of Frenemies ッ

They claim to have your best interest in mind, but their actions speak differently. They are the kind of people who are right by your side when things are going good in your life, but as soon as the clouds move in, they’re no where to be found. For the guys, it’s that “friend” who’s great when you need a hook-up of any kind, but always reminding you of how that girl you’ve been pinning over is out of your league (probably because he wants her for himself). For the ladies, it’s that girl who’s clothes you love to borrow, but who you wouldn’t dare leave alone with your man.

Girls, she’s your friend, who you’ll club-hop with and who will suffer with you as long as your misery it matches her own. But in that same respect, she’s your enemy – she’s critical of you, and never seems to have anything truly productive to add to your life. She’s just kind of. . there.

We all have frenemies. Naturally, no girl will admit to not being able to stand that chick that she just called for advice, but I think it’s clear to everyone how backwards women operate. So why don’t we dismiss these falsies masquerading as friends?

It’s because we don’t have to actually like our friends. People who should really be given the title “associate” or “fair-weather friend” are often described as “friends” or for the truly delusional – besties. We love something about them, and that’s why we keep them around. Maybe she’s our very dependable source of entertainment, or the person we can rely on for amazing shopping discounts or VIP access at clubs. Besides, that age old saying absolutely applies to this relationship: Keep your friends close. Keep your enemies closer. Keep your frenemies on speed dial.

I’ve described them in an unflattering way, but don’t mistake your frenemy for someone who’s two-faced, because that may not be their intent. You just need to recognize that there are things about that person that cannot be trusted, and that you must take everything they say with a grain of salt.

Obviously if you refuse to rid your life of them completely, there’s something there worth exploring. It’s like a fatale attraction, and to be honest – you’re using her too. You might be her frenemy, and you’re trapped in the same childish rotation. Treat everyone with respect, but also respect yourself enough to know that if drama follows you whenever you’re with this particular person, you need to distance yourself. If not, the cycle will continue and you’ll find yourself with repeat deadbeats.

Basically, woman up!

Abuse & Neglect

I solemnly swore to update this blog on a (semi) regular basis and I'm totally failing in that respect.

*fake sigh*

I'm actually on vacation in Florida and I'm trying this new thing where I don't bring the work of NY with me wherever I go.

So this is a post to say that even better posts will follow. Scout's honor. Whoever Scout is. .

In the meantime, here's a belated Happy Independence Day! And a rundown of reasons for why I can only visit Florida, and not actually live here.

• NYers have no kind of patience. Neither do 20-something's. We feel we're entitled to a lot just because we've mastered useless technologies. Seeing as how I am both a NYer and a 20-something, the Floridian's lackadaisical way of operating baffles me.

• NYers can drive, and unless a Floridian was originally from another state they truly cannot.

• I can't with things that are far away
being described as "right around the corner." On what planet?

• This month is actually considered part of the rainy season down here. F-ck me, right?

• The fashion in any place that's NOT Miami? Ehh. . .

• Along with rain. . .comes humidity. Humidity begets sweating, sweating begets frizzing of the already confused hair I've got.

Aside from those minor things I need to adjust to, I'm having a blast and enjoying this much-needed vacation. I'm being shamelessly lazy, eating anything that I find myself staring at for too long, and purchasing whatever I see that's made of lace and floral-print. In short - just doing what I'm good at.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Meet Karma: She's rubber, and you're glue

I’ve always been a firm believer in documenting important life events, because even if no one else would care to read it, later it’ll be there for you. Just in case you forget how something felt at the time or what someone said (and how they said it). Sometimes it’s good to have that reference.

I’m grateful to have a lot of things written down and archived for future reference. It’s helped me realize how much I’ve grown, and in some ways, stayed the same since certain events happened in my life. It’s really been a beautiful journey, all in all. The good and the bad things that I’ve done as well as the good and bad things that have happened to me were somehow cosmically intertwined and ended up meaning something. They’ve all happened for some greater reason than what I could recognize at the time, and now I'm understanding it a little more. Everyday is a lesson.

There was a time when I felt that I had done something so karmically wrong (that I still feel guilty for to this day, fyi) in my past that something I was going through at the time had to be a result of a that. I convinced myself that this was the Universe’s/God’s way of saying “You done f-cked up now.”

Looking back on that now, I see it wasn’t that serious, and that what happened to me was nowhere near equivalent to what I had done. I saw that it had happened to a lot of people. I saw that it could have been a lot worse. The Boomerang Theory to me has some truth to it, and somehow I was going to get what was coming to me, and it’d only be fair. Everyone is, if they haven’t already.

Just always remember to give out what you want in return. You may not get it right away, but somehow it will always come back around to you. Even if you’re experiencing something painful – some betrayal or some loss – keep in mind that retaliating is your way of getting back at that situation, but not the way of the greater good. You don’t have to believe in God to see where I’m coming from – just believe that there is something omnipotent and far bigger than you. Good things happen to good people, eventually, and that’s the stuff worth waiting for.

Right now I feel as if the years of good I’ve done have come back to me because this place.

Right now.

This ish right here? This is a good feeling. Happiest I’ve been in a while, I’d say.

I hope you all are getting what’s coming to you :) Whether it’s good or bad - it will pass, and the cycle will continue. For the future, learn from this and give out what you want to get back.

Photo Credit

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Sorry, she can't hear you - she's kind of busy

What's all the hype about?
Featuring Lady Gaga

Photo credit

Even if you’re not a die-hard fan, it has been brought to my attention that a lot of people are strangely attracted to Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta and don’t quite know why. You might know her better as “girl who wears birds nests to awards show” or, her human name: Lady Gaga.

I will admit that at first I couldn’t wrap my head around her insta-fame. Even with her constantly grabbing her crotch and her hazardous space cadet outfits – how was she still generating so many fans? Her Singing? Mediocre, at best. Dance moves? Very 7th-grade-musical inspired. Lo and behold, though, after countless radio replays and a few music videos that propelled me into deep thought about the state of our entertainment industry, I was hooked.

It irked me that I couldn’t explain exactly why I liked her. Her “special something” was hard to pinpoint, and I’d imagine that even those with respectable music tastes might be wondering the same thing. I’ve decided to chalk it up to social influence and the decaying expectations for quality music. So here you have it. . .

The Top 5 reasons for why people are goo-goo-ga-ga over this lady:

5.) Her “inspiration.” Pop culture is constantly changing. One day this certain thing is really amazing, and the next we hate it and it makes our ears bleed. It was so two months ago (ages in pop time). Right now pop culture is taking a liking to the weird, tortured artist even more than usual. Gaga has drawn inspiration from (whether she’ll admit to it or not): Marilyn Monroe, Britney Spears, Michael Jackson, Beyonce, Cyndi Lauper, and Madonna. And we just loved them…at the time. We can thank their contagious stardom for her over-the-top performances and music being overplayed now.

4.) Her attitude. Gaga’s smart enough to not put herself into a box. Yes, she’s a pop artist but there will be times when you’ll wonder if she was feeling rock-ish on that track or having a techno moment on another. She’s willing to experiment and push the envelope, and while there might be times when you don’t know how the hell that video had to do with that song (or what that song had to do with, period), she still makes you laugh because she peaks your interest. She’ll talk about controversial topics like lesbianism in prisons because she knows it’ll either go over your head or force you to decode her. She just does her.

3.) Image is everything. Just like her music genre, her outfits and image as a whole is that welcomed kind of “out there” that the young’ns like. People are attracted to the unusual, yet compelling. People like the strong, yet disorderly. Even if these same people don’t like actually listening to her lacking vocal talent, they can at least appreciate her courageous fashion efforts. Most of the time. Maybe you wouldn’t wear her stuff walking into the grocery store. However, if you were making millions, you’d wear that spandex suit down a runway, too. Don’t front. She’s a genius when it comes to promoting herself.

2.) Dignity – an accessory she could do without. Her blonde wigs and caution-tape bathing suits are doing her just fine. She has no problem embracing her sexuality and being uncouth, eye catching, jaw-dropping, inappropriate, and down-right disrespectful to social norms. As I said in #9 – she doesn’t give a f*ck. In fact, does anyone have an extra f*ck to spare? Because she’s fresh out. At the end of the day, people like people who don’t care. It makes them not want to care.

1.) & the NUMBER ONE reason for why people are still gettin’ off to GaGa’s madness?

We’re slaves, and she knows it. We’ve gotten to the point where music making sense and people actually being talented is the least of our worries. There are many talented unknowns out there who aren’t getting ¼ of the playtime LGG is, but it’s because they’re not using her formula right and we’re just not buying it. Give us a good show. Give us something miniscule to whine about or emulate. Make us scratch our heads and guess what’s coming next. Give us Gaga – she’s what we want.

Love child.

I'm not sure how myself and Dudeguy are gunna make this happen but I'm gunna need for my child to come out looking almost exactly or damn close to Willow Smith. . .

She is NINE years of age. That's too much flyyness for someone of that height to have. It's cute because she's little.

That is all.

Start beating your children! Only, not *really*

I'm not saying you should be having a full-on fight complete with removed earrings and vaseline with your 6-year-old, but please, PLEASE, let them know who's boss.

On one of the rare occasions when I was listening to the news - I me
an really listening, not just hearing - I heard about that 14 y/o hooligan who attacked their teacher. Bit 'em. Punched 'em. Put 'em in a coma with a series of kicks and stomps. Why? Because they were caught cheating on their test. . .

Maybe it's just me but if I was the parent, yes, the law would have to take over and he'd be charged with second degree assault, but I'll be damned if he isn't getting his ass whupped all up and down the Long Island area. If Uniondale is the kind of school district where this kind of thing is common, then that's sad and it's even sadder that there are more schools like that. My little brother is around that age. .

And while he might look harmless, if he were to ever do something like that. . .well, let's just say Juvie would be the least of his problems.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Know your worth

I may not be the best person when it comes to facts and figures. In retrospect, the only reason I passed AP Economics with flying colors in high school was because of my way with words and my teacher’s reluctance to abide by strict teaching guidelines. However, for the sake of this argument, I’m gunna relate to it to financial terms. Money is a universal language. Investments. Opportunity costs. All that good ish that I thought was buried deep in my mind with all my other horrific high school memories resurfaced when I started thinking about one of my favorite topics for discussion.


More specifically, that seemingly extinct “good man” that plenty have attacked, and plenty more have almost given up on finding. I know I’m young, and I have “my whole life ahead of me”, but I’m not the only young female by any stretch of the imagination who has something to say about the deficiency of eligible good guys out there. Like the US economy, the pool of good guys also seems to be in a recession.

Not to further depress you or anything, but let’s relate it to the facts. From what I’ve observed, and from a totally not-feministic standpoint (*wink*), ladies have it rough. I’m not talking about the older bitter woman, with years of failed relationships who is just now figuring out that the problem might be her either. I’m talking about the young, doe-eyed, and impressionable young women of today. The ones who have only felt the beginning of heartache, if that, and are preparing themselves for what they consider to be the inevitable heartaches to come.

Think of a good young man as a commodity – he’s rare, and he’s in high demand. He’s the guy who treats you well, respects you as not only a person but as a partner, handles his business, and knows that what he wants to get in life will not just be handed to him. Granted, there are plenty of triflin’ women trying to seduce the “good man”, and because he is a man, these shiny things catch his attention. Some women dress in barely-there clothing to compete for his affection. When they are beat out by girls, they do the next best thing and quite possibly the worst thing: lower their standards. They lower their price.

The other guys, because the market is so flooded with these eager women pinning for male attention, now have the chance to step in. Women who would otherwise pass them over because it’s clear that they’re under-qualified for the position might front for a little bit, but will soon realize that an attitude doesn’t keep them warm at night. If enough guys try, and enough guys they’ve invested in happen to fail, suddenly the thing of weaker value starts looking better. You don’t even realize it – just like you start cutting back on brand names when grocery shopping to save yourself the money, you cut back on qualities when looking for a date to save yourself some stress. You begin making excuses for them, you let sh-t slide – you forget your worth.


I guess it’s because it’s better to be in the business somewhat lucrative, than out of it completely and utterly broke. It’s sad, but to those few guys (and I know some of you are out there) who know the game is unfortunately in their favor and still choose to maximize their potential as a partner as opposed to doing the bare minimum, I say thanks. May you land a strong foine-ass woman, if you haven’t already.

And to the rest of you who still have yet to mature emotionally and logically – enjoy it while it lasts. Women are all the more wiser to the way the market has changed, and if we adjust ourselves accordingly, you’ll be the ones left looking stupid. Not us.

PS – The US Dollar is about 67 cents compared to the Euro right now. I’m not saying European men are better, I’m just sayin’. . .don’t knock it till you try it ; ]

Photo credit

I pissed me off today

This isn't my first blog, and probably won't be my last, but this is the first time I'm going to be consistent with it (scout's honor). I think introductions are kind of corny, so I'm just going to delve right in and start talking smack.

In fact, I probably won't be doing sh-t for the majority of the summer, and even less sh-t tomorrow, depending on how I feel. The reason for this is because for the first time since I was 15, I'm not working until the very end of the summer. At first I was pissed because I hate sitting around when I could be making money but I came to the conclusion that this summer is going to be a summer of productivity in other ways. I'm going to go with the flow a little more, try to be a little less anal, play hard, love harder. . and really work on my relationship with myself and those close to me. After all, the happiest girls are the prettiest.

The most exciting, challenging, and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you, YOU love - well, then that's just fabulous." -- SJP, Sex and The City

I've been blessed to meet some pretty amazing people in these past few years who I'm sure you'll hear about. And of course, to balance that out, I've met some douchebags. I've learned a lot from all of them. You can ride along as I finish up my last year of college, add in tidbits of social commentary, political criticism, and daily doses of bitchiness. Hopefully you'll find some things enlightening or cute or exceptionally witty. Either way, this is fun for me and I'll be riding this until the wheels fall off.