Sunday, December 4, 2011

Why the Real World doesn't care if you were Prom Queen

After spending an extended weekend back home in the 'burbs for Thanksgiving, I took full advantage of my time with my twin little brother and sister and reminisced about my high school days. They're going through the insignificant but common teen stage where they just want to fit in yet want to stand out - but in a good way. It's all "so very complicated" and I "just don't understand". Talking to them about what they really want out of life, their feasible hopes and dreams or even something that isn't on BET's 106 & Park is kind of like trying to teach yourself sign language. It's a cool idea at first, but then you realize that you might only use what you learn maybe twice again in your life if you're lucky. And no one will be impressed.

My biggest message to them was that who they are in high school (they're 15) will in no way, shape or form dictate who they'll become in 10 years. Unless, of course, they're on heavy drugs or currently dealing with teen pregnancies, which neither of them are. I wanted them to know that they had time to think about how they wanted to be perceived by the world. If you're not planning on going pro, it won't matter if you played varsity or JV lacrosse in high school. Yes, you'll meet some great people and learn the value of teamwork but said people probably won't associate themselves with you after you graduate. Sorry, but it is what it is. There are those rare occasions when you actually do keep in touch with your highschool buddies, though . . .do any of you guys still speak to people from when you were younger? I'll wait.

I figured the sooner they came to terms with this, the better. I know how important it is to be liked when you're surrounded by your highly judgmental peers on a daily basis but I promised them these people will not matter. Your junior prom queen may have it all together now spending daddy's money and struttin' a body that's about 5 years too developed but after you graduate, no one really cares if you were prom queen.

Trust me, I know.

No, I was not prom queen - ew! But I am incredibly perceptive and great at starting conversations. I did a crapload in both high school and college, made friends with the people who were "destined for success" and can I tell you that the only people who really care what you did in high school are the unfortunates you'll find frequenting the same bars? In that case, and that case only, being an alleged prom queen may get you a few drinks.

I tried explaining this to them and do you know what my little brother told me?

He asked me to post his tumblr on my blog. Apparently, he's "Tumblr Famous".

I wanted to go on a rant about how no one cares if you're 'tumblr famous' either but then I remembered that they are the next generation. Maybe they care. For now at least.


  1. Ahh! Loved this post especially because I can relate to it. I was Homecoming Queen, and though a few people like to reminisce and poke fun about still, it's not like i can put in on my resume' because it's completely irrelevant! I don't miss high school at all. It was such an awkward time that I'd rather leave behind me. I had waaay more fun in college, especially because I started to feel more comfortable about myself.

    And you're right, this new generation is something else! I have a younger sister of my own...


  2. you better post this on the man's blog damn it! lol

  3. Hi Nhya, you are absolutely right! What you were in high school by no means defines the rest of your life. In fact, most of the popular girls in HS are now about 30 lbs overweight, married, and still living in the suburbs and dreaming of their glory days... Little do they know about what happened to me...I was not popular in HS at all, never got asked to 1 dance but it's ok...I think I turned out just fine ;)

  4. LoL def loving this post!
    i talk to my nephews about this ALL THE TIME!! Its crazy to think back to when i was that young and thought so many small things actually mattered...oh well...i can def say i had fun in high school but my college years were def way more fun

  5. I was Homecoming King. Could care less now. I'll admit the University of Alabama's black population is small enough to where it feels like a high school, but still big enough to realize if you don't want to be known, you sure don't have to try.

    But I will say I'm far more proud of the accomplishments I've made in college over high school by far.

    Que The Lights
    QTL Images

  6. Hey Nhya, I was hoping you would nominate me for one of the 'Bootleg' awards on I'm not going to suggest one, because I'm not THAT conceited, but I would at least have a shot at one of them.

    I would appreciate it if you would.

  7. Their generation is narcissistic as hell anyway. (I have a 16 yr old sister)...but I do believe that you carry a little piece of who you are in high school for the rest of your life. The rest of the world wont care (professionally or socially)...however when your reconnect to the people you went to k-12're automatically a more adult version of who you used to be. I will always be a cheerleader (to people I went to hs with)

  8. Ohhhhhh, all I can say is FO SHIZ. You are a genius. Nobody cares about what you were like in high school. Get over it. I was a total loser suck face, and now I am so the opposite. High school really doesn't matter.
    Twitter: @GlamKitten88

  9. Liked this post, I would mostly like to forget how I was at school, as well as most of the people there lol. Although I reckon some of the lessons and people skills learnt will always be invaluable; I still find women and men acting like girls and boys out here in the real world, and if I hadn't have found a way to deal with them back then, I don't know how I'd be dealing with them now X

  10. Great post! This is so true. I love your writing.
    Pose Posh Post

  11. So true! As a guy who went to college in the same area as his high school I still see some friends and acquaintances around the area. None of us really give two craps about who was popular back in high school - because it didn't matter. The illusion of popularity dissipated as soon as we all got our caps and gowns and went our separate ways. It has been 5 years since I graduated, and the prestigious titles of Homecoming King and Queen have gone the way of the dodo. It's all about the resume and the benjamins now. high school didn't have a Prom Queen or King. It was pretty nice.


  12. This post goes in girl!

    You narrowed in on the meat of peoples perceptions. Like really, I was valedictorian and no one cares that part of me does not define my future interactions with the world nor does it leave room for me to be constantly gratified or acknowledged for it.

    Some people just don't get it lol

    P.S. Thanks for that sweet supportive comment :)


  13. Nhya, you should seriously write a book. Because I would definitely buy it! Being 17 and a junior in high school, this is the kind of stuff I need to hear right now. All my friends care about is that we get to go to prom this year, and that they have boyfriends and are friends with popular people. All I can say is, I could care less. I don't even want to go to prom! I don't have a boyfriend, and I hate people that are popular. Honestly, the reason I'm in high school is to get a good education that will get me into a good college, because I figure thats when I will really start my life. Keep doing what you're doing girl:)

    Shelby xoxo

  14. Heey Nhya... Kids won't listen, you can try all you want. they pretend they are but then they change the subject the quickest chance they get.
    They probably think you are old school. lol My little brothers think I am.
    but what can you do... just advice them and hope they don't get too caught up in the teenage stage..
    bw is it just me or is tumblr very confusing ??

    and you gotta love twilight
    its the bomb :P

  15. That's nice of you to try to tell them the real. However, Highschool is their reality right now so I can undestand where they're mentality comes from. High School is such a great time in your life it's great to have fond memories that you can have forever. What's most important is getting scholarships for College. :)

    Always, T

  16. Wow you nailed it girl. I could have not told it better. I cant even remember half the people who were in high school with me. Not even the head girl. So who really cares.

  17. Nhya, this is beautiful girl and ALL so true. You gave them excellent advice and they're going to remember that. Superb post! I love it!

  18. This post was so on point!

    I can totally feel where you're coming from, Nhya. I have 3 younger siblings, and the youngest two believe life is all about trends, friends, and popularity. I keep telling them that how many followers they have on twitter doesn't mean a damn thing when they start filling out job applications, but they don't listen to me. They say I'm old lol.

    I can't trip too much though, because I was once where they are. I too had to learn that those same cool friends I had in high school would evaporate into thin air months after graduation. So as much as I fuss at them, I have to remember in my frustration that they have to learn some things on their own. Growing pains, I suppose.

    Keep being a great big sister to your siblings. Believe it or not, they will be coming to you for advice in a few years. I promise you lol.

    Great post girlie!

  19. Bahaha, doesn't it just suck getting through to youth. but we all must learn. What's funny part is now were being looked as "old" based on the advice we give. I'm not old yet!! haha

  20. So true! All the girls that were prom queen at my school are not really doing too well...most of them have like five kids by several different baby daddies which is craziness because I was raised in the suburbs. And the ones who branched out and went away from home are successful and doing incredible things with their lives. So, it may matter in HS now but in 10 years it won't.


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