TEHYF Tuesdays: Why I'd make an awesome Dance Mom

There are a lot of shows I've recently thought I'd make a great cast addition to (like a vampire on True Blood or a contestant on Big Brother or my dream of being a judge on So You Think You Can Dance), but now I think I've found a new love.

When you can get pass the reality of me not actually being a mom (let's not focus on the negative), I think I've come up with some really solid reasons for why I think I'd make a great Dance Mom. For example:

• I want me some bedazzled black yoga pants.

• Although J and I have not had a child, I'm almost positive that this kid will come out beautiful. And not because I think him and I have amazing genes that could only result in a beyond gorgeous baby. I think they'll be beautiful because even if they aren't, I'm not above using plastic surgery to help further advance their career.

• I consider myself to be viciously competitive - especially if it's something I think I have a good chance at winning. And hey, if I can't win it, I'm sure my daughter can. Living vicariously through your children, anyone?

• Kids are people too, but Dance Kids are like little dolls that you can make-up and then teach routine's that are far too mature for their age group. And it's okay. Sort of. People encourage it is my point.

• I harbor enough estrogen and emotions to fuel about five other normal women and transform them into Dance Moms.

As I think of more reasons for why I should look into this, I'll update it. In the meantime, keep sending me questions so I have something to look forward to ;]

My prepubescent harbinger crush on Devon Sawa

Shhhh. Don't talk about it.

One of the sites I frequently stalk posted about what your kiddie crush says about you. I didn't have to reminisce for long because my I very clearly remember what my young loins lusted for and that was Devon Sawa.

Y'know, in his better years.

That long blonde-ish/brown hair. Those cute gapped teeth. The fact that he always looked confused with his puppy eyes *swooooon*. All of my elementary school crushes pretty much looked exactly like him. Nevermind him constantly taking on roles where he was cursed, or partaking in some illegal activity or sticking his tongue down Christina Ricci's throat. That was my boo. In my head, anyway.

Unfortunately, Dev-o (my nickname for him) looks cracked out in more ways than one right now, and that really saddens me. His face reflects that his future may have been paved with illicit drugs, trick babies, and dirty needles. . .But I don't want to focus on the negative. I just wanna bask in how cute he use to be. Which was very, very, very freakin' adorable. If you wanna see him now, google him, fine, whatever. But you've been warned.

Apparently having him as a crush meant I was attracted to douchebags (go figure). Muscle-heads who I could probably easily manipulate because intellectually I surpassed them. . .I don't totally disagree (but they're so freakin' cute!). Anyway, those days are long over.

So tell me, chickadees. . .who was your top childhood crush?

(And if you have nothing nice to say about Devon, don't say anything at all! I mean it! lol)

Love child.

I'm not sure how myself and Dudeguy are gunna make this happen but I'm gunna need for my child to come out looking almost exactly or damn close to Willow Smith. . .


She is NINE years of age. That's too much flyyness for someone of that height to have. It's cute because she's little.

That is all.