Friday, June 24, 2011

Nhya Vs. McDonald's Sweet Tea

I nearly died today.

No, legit. And it would have all been at the hands of what I thought was one of the most magnificent creations brought to McDonald's. Ain't that some sh-t?

I always imagined that my near-death experience would be something that would open my eyes to all the great things in life, and y'know. . .teach me that I should appreciate everyday. All it did was make me really suspect of abnormally large drinks. Here's how it happened:

I'm walking back to my room from work with J (the boyf) and his brothers, quickly, because it's humid as hell in New York and I'm not tryna' have my hair frizz up. . .

Jokingly, I grabbed something J was holding because I knew he'd put up a fight for it - it was food, fyi. We go back and forth for it and his brothers are laughing in the background because they know that nothing stands between him and his food. Not even me. One of them cracks a joke saying just that, and as I'm sipping on my sweet tea, I start my usual fit of inappropriate laughter.

First mistake.

Before I know it, I start coughing. This is fine - I always have coughing attacks when I talk too fast while eating or drinking. Suddenly, however, coughing turns to choking and while everyone around me is still laughing at the previous joke, I'm realizing, slowly but surely that my oxygen supply is clogged by the syrupy yet deadly goodness that is McDonald's sweet tea. I grip my iPhone tightly because if I survive this experience, the last thing I'll want to deal with is a shattered phone screen (for whatever reason, I'm also still securely holding the iced tea.). I'm trying not to panic but because I'm naturally dramatic I'm thinking three steps ahead of what's already happening. . . is this it? This happens all the time - why haven't I stopped coughing?!

J's the first to realize that something's not right - probably because by now my nose has started leaking, I'm sweating, and my face has gone from caramel to purple - and springs into action.

I must say, I'm proud.

He starts rather violently yet lovingly slapping my back. At this point, his actions have helped me realize that I am in fact, choking to death, and I make my second mistake. I lose all sense of logic. My hands start flailing (still holding the iPhone, of course), I start gasping for air, and I make signals that I've seen in movies which I thought meant "help"! When he realizes the slaps aren't working, J starts doing his own rendition of the Heimlich maneuver which is like the real Heimlich maneuver, only much more emotional and amateur when done when you're scared your girlfriend might die because she can't drink properly.

Since I'm my mother's child, this is all becoming entirely too much for me and my mind starts racing to how just earlier I was talking about how sucky it would be to die at 21, and how I've always wanted to visit a 7th wonder of the world. And why hadn't I opted for the large fries instead of the medium for lunch when life was so short?! While I'm sifting through what-if's in my head, at some point my choking calms down. As I'm catching my breath, I let a few chuckles escape because, let's be honest - I was happy I was alive and the whole thing was kinda funny. If it wasn't happening to me.

J on the other hand is furious, and I can understand why. He tells me that I really need to stop choking. I tell him I'll work on that.

What I learned from that experience is that:

A) My boyfriend really is my knight in shining armor (who knew he actually knew the Heimlich?) and,
B.) Thank goodness I wasn't choking alone. How awful would it have been if I was found, dead and alone in front of my place of work with hair frizzed beyond the point of recognition?

So that was my Friday. How was yours?


  1. That is too funny! (I'm glad your okay though) I recently started following your blog, and I love the way you write! It's very enjoyable to read.

    Shelby xoxo

  2. I died laughing at this! I'm really glad that your boyfriend knew the Heimlich and that everything turned out ok. I also laughed because I had to go to a work event downtown so I took the metro. I was speed walking to the place because it was so hot and humid, I didn't want my hair to frizz either. By the time I walked the two blocks to the building, I was a hot, sweaty mess. Luckily, I always keep a hair clip on my purse strap...just in case.

  3. You're such a creative writer. This was too funny but I'm glad you're ok.

  4. haha, this was mad funny :P :). .Love the way you write :)
    Glad you OK, and Awww about you boyfriend saving you :)
    My Friday was boring, been dancing in my room and catching up on 'single ladies' hell of a life.


  5. Yay your okay! If you died I don't think anyone would be able to do as good as an re-enactment ;) Good thing you have people around you who know the heimlech

    Mcdonalds sweet teas are a major weakness of mine.

  6. bhahaha that was funny as hell. Im obsessed with your blog
    Forever Chic,

  7. aww so glad your okay! It happens to me too when the drink goes down wrong. lol


  8. I'm really sorry that I find this story funny, but it's out of empathy (I almost choked whilst eating chinese food and my throat was so clogged I couldn't even motion for help I just froze at the dinner table)! Very nice blog you have here :D

  9. this is so funny simply because of how you wrote it,your a really good writer,i'm glad your okay though! thank youfor the comment on my blog! following :)

  10. Carrymel, Carrymel, Carrymel.

    Let me start off by saying -- your blog is hella dope. You're writing style: And I've never used a "" in my dialect EVER before. LOL.

    Anywho, about the post. This was SOOO funny. I had a Mozzarella Cheese (Lasagna) situation when I was a kid where I swallowed before I chewed (-pause for blank stare-), and I kid you not, I felt like I was pulling that cheese out of my throat for HOURS!! Much like a magician at the county fair. -_____-

    I went on a cheese strike for like 8 years, and even now when I eat cheesy pasta, I chew HHHEELLLLAAA slow! LOL.

    Hilarious story, glad you didn't, see the light.


    Thanks for sharing!

    Kimberly, FWB

  11. omgsh... what an experience all thanks to McDonald's tea >.<" lol I loved how you narrate your experience, you're really good at captivating your reader. and oh, cheers to your bf for being so attentive haha and as for me, my Friday was pretty good, played catch-up with my beauty rest and wrote a blog lol

  12. looool. this is not funny but i cannot stop laughing.
    i am so glad you are okay. :)

  13. @Carrymel i would love to follow your blog love what you talk about! x
    p.s follow back if you want xx

  14. Love it, luckily you're ok Ö I follow you now, maybe you want to follow back?

  15. @Shelby • aw thanks, luv! I enjoy yours as well!

    @MacK • I always keep a hair clip w/ me too! you neva know ;]

    @ASMJ • thank u hun! I'm glad I'm ok too. That was a scary moment haha.

    @Lil • Wahhh ;p lol

    @Jackie • TY!

    @Sauniya • Thanks hun! You watch Single Ladies too?!

    @Melissa • thanksss! I'm prob still gunna drink it. . .just with caution.

    @Amber • I'm obsessed with urs too! <3333

    @Haze • it happens to me too often! lol

    @Kam, Amber, Ms Nana, Euqinom • Thanksss huns! :]

    @Kimmy • thank uuu! :) I feel like I can be too dramatic sometimes, but I don't care lol. I'm really cautious now when drinking and eating! I'm shook!

    @ChiChi • Thank uu :) I was tryin to make it as real as possible so people understood the seriousness of the situation lol.

  16. Great blog!
    You love to write,huh? :)
    Visit mine and follow me if you want! :D

  17. First- I'm glad you are OK.

    But this is too funny. It sounds like something that would happen to me, except I'm too clumsy to choke and hold onto my iPhone all at one time.

  18. I'm glad someone was there to save you, hope you're OK now. Funny write-up though...

  19. oh my gosh! This was so hilarious!!!! I am so glad that you are okay! I would hate to go out of this world because I choked on my favorite drink!
    make sure you enter my GIVEAWAY!

  20. Let me just say you are a very creative and imaginative writer, I felt like I was right there as you told that story **sounding like a English professor** I've got a trick for the sweet tea situation too next time ask the cashier to put alittle hot water at the bottom of your cup to melt any syruuup **it doesn't take away from the flavor either I'm a McD's tea junkie too**

    "When my cape is off I blog"

  21. you're absolutely hilarious!!! such a sweet boyfriend you've got and i wish mcdonald's had sweet tea here! i've never tried it and always wanted to.

  22. That seems so funny (and I'm happy your fine)
    maybe you want to enter my give away?
    check my blog for that ,

  23. Hey Nhya,
    OMG! That post was funny. Not because of what happened to you (of coarse), but the way you wrote it.You have a cool blog! Glad to hear you're ok :)

    -Sincerely your new follower-

    -Nicole Alicia

  24. Wow!! Well I'm super glad you survived! You are an awesome storyteller. Love reading your blog!

    xo/Andrea Marie

  25. @YUI • yeah, I do. From time to time lol :) I'll check out your blog!

    @duetime, Myne, Andrea • haha, thanks!

    @CollegeCurl • lol I was thinking that when I wrote it! I was like, "I really didn't envision myself dying like that." I think I'm too late for your giveaway :(

    @Bigbruh • I've gotta use that sweet tea tip! & thanks so much :)

    @sugarmouse • it's sooo good! you gotta get it if you ever get the chance :)

    @Lupe • Thanks, hun! I'll check it out!

    @Nicole • ty! :) & thanks for the follow - checking yours out now.

  26. I can't believe you made a story about choking int an entertaining read. That also happened to me only my bff and I were choking at the same time and the culprit... Fried catfish not tea. Wonderfully written Carrymel.

    Tarah and the

  27. How was my Friday? Well, I was driving when I felt a sneeze coming on. I'm in my car that I JUST got on Monday and here I am, sneezing, letting go of the wheel and swerving in the other lane while trying to turn a curve.

    Glad you survived tho.. =) lol.

    This had to be the funniest post I've read so far.

  28. @Tarah • Thanks Tarah! Glad you enjoyed it lol. I love when my clumsy moments can be entertaining.

    @Carla • Hey hun, welcome to my blog! I could def see myself having something similar happen to me while driving especially since I sneeze multiple times at once! >.<

    & I'm now following you! I tried to comment your blog, but it doesn't seem to be working :\


Thanks for visiting my page and taking the time to leave a comment. You rock for that! Make sure you leave the URL to your blog/site so I can check you out too! & if you like what you read, feel free to follow :]

PS - I'm good for commenting back on my page in response to questions/etc. But I will always check out yours.

- Nhya