While out with some friends last week for dinner and drinks the conversation started off the way most female conversations do: from fashion to feelings to, inevitably, men and relationships. One girl brought up the topic of proposing to a man instead of waiting for him to propose to you. She gave the example of a friend she knew who did it recently, which completely caught her boyfriend off-guard. I'm all for being pro-active and speaking your mind, but for me a proposal from the person I love is step 1 towards us getting married. Maybe I'm old fashion or I've seen too many Disney movies (or both, actually), but if I have to propose to you I'll feel like I'm robbing myself of the beginning stages of my fairy tale wedding.
But that's neither here nor there, lol.
Those who agreed with the girl proposing - which was basically the same as a man's proposal, only you give him a nice watch *rolls eyes* - said that it wasn't about "giving in". It was about knowing what you want and taking it upon yourself to get it. When it was put that way, I understood where the girl was coming from. I still personally wouldn't do it, but if she knew that was the man she wanted, and that he felt the same - more power to her! From the sound of things, however, it didn't seem like the boyfriend was too fond of her taking his moment away, it's also possible that he didn't want to get married to begin with. . .
. . . See, this is why you wait for him to be ready. Ha!
Would you propose to your man? And guys, how would you feel about your girlfriend proposing to you?
I don't think I could ever do that! We have one dance at school every year where girls ask guys and I hate even doing that!!
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't dare. I also wouldn't want to be with a man that would be comfortable with me doing it
ReplyDeleteI'd ask a guy out! I do it all the time! But Marriage? Hmmmmm... nope. It's a cultural thing.
ReplyDeletethat was quite interesting to read.. I dont think i would propose to a man... i think girls usually see mariage in a relation=ship a lot earlier before guys do.. i wouldnt know when the guys ia actually ready and how he would feel "about me tkaing his moment away" like you said.. and to be honest?!. i want a proposal from the guy :P :)
ReplyDeleteoh no never, ever! But I know a girl who did it!
ReplyDeleteNever! I'm old fashion. I want to be "courted" no dated. I need to know im wanted so it is definitely, from my view, the responsibility of the man to propose. I was just having a convo with my hunni about my old fashion values and he was saying how he never had to ask a girl to call him because I do not call. He is suppose to pursue me!
ReplyDeleteI would rather wait for my man to propose to me, because where a female always knows what she wants in a committed relationship, in most cases the male takes longer to come to that realization and you know in their heart that they are really ready to take the plunge when they do it :) Check out http://sweettobegracie.blogspot.com/
ReplyDeleteI have no PC way of saying what i want to say...which makes me not want to say it lol. So i'll just say this...HE who finds a WIFE, finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. As sexist as it is, to most people its pretty much a given that if you're a woman and you're in a serious long-term relationship that you want to get married. Thats not an assumption we generally make about men. So my approach would be to let him ask me when he's ready, and if he's not ready in a suitable amount of time let him know how i feel and/or keep it movin. I might be willing to put the idea on the table but i'm not about to pull a Chrissy and asks that man to marry me. Thats one double-standard i'm cool with upholding.
ReplyDeleteI think that if a girl ever proposed to a man, she would end up heart broken or living a life she did not dream of. A man wold feel diminished of his manly rights. All man are sensitive in this sense. They would also feel rushed or not ready.
ReplyDeletelol NO. Would i have to buy my own ring too?! :p xxx
ReplyDeletenoooo, he'll have to ask me. lol when a guy WANTS to do something he will (call, ask you out, make plans, marry etc). when he doesn't he WON'T. If someone is not giving you 100%, you don't give it to them.
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My husband and I talked about getting engaged together. We made the decision to get engaged together. He still did the actual proposing, but it was mostly so we'd have a story to tell when people asked.
ReplyDeletelool.. my friends and i have had the same discussion.. i will never do it.. lool never in a million years.. that is one part i don't wanna be in control xxx
ReplyDeleteInteresting post and topic of conversation. I'm all for the women proposing to the man. I'm not very traditional at all and I like to defy all possible stereotypes. My fiance actually proposed to me though but that's because it was so many years earlier than I ever thought I would get married. He totally caught me off guard and surprised me. If I had not been 21 at the time then maybe I would have taken that step.
ReplyDeleteNo way! My hubby proposed to me in the more conventional way! That's why I married him!
ReplyDeleteYea ummm....no ma'am. I'm a traditional chick and I need to be assured that my young man understands the gravity of his decision and the commitment he's making. Men are wired differently, when they find a "wife", they know it and will pop the question....no need to prompt them. It's their natural instincts to be "territorial" so I'm gonna pass on the proposing.
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xoxo
Aisha
www.fashioninavanti.blogspot.com
I wouldn't i prefer for him to do it.
ReplyDeletehttp://thathaitiangirl.com
I wouldnt propose to my man either.....im just romantic like that and i know some men actually like to surprise their woman...i like being surprise plus im a tad traditional in the sense that i'd prefer homie pop the question
ReplyDeleteI don't think I could do it. I'm a bit too traditional...but for those women who have the guts, I agree with you, More power to them!!!
ReplyDeletehmmmm....well personally i would never propose guess i'm old fashion too but I couldnt imagine doing that!! lol i have way too much pride and if he's ready he would propose on his own and if he's not its just not meant to be.
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Interesting, I've not really given it much thought, mainly because I almost expect it to be the guy. I guess I would propose to my guy, but I know that he would rather propose to me, than the other way around. xo
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I'm all for girl power, but I don't know if I would ever propose to a guy ... I don't put anything past myself, though. I'm up for it all.
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Ummm no, I'm a bit older than some of you girls, and for me this answer is no. He can ask me and I'll let him know...this is of course after I see the ring :P
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ReplyDeleteCall me old fashion as well, but I too, am good on that note. I'm not too old-fashion, however, to make my interest in a man known. I have a way of both expressing and showing my interest very subtly. I love dropping compliments to a man, etc. However, I feel that many (not all) women are somewhat born ready to be married (does this sound wrong?) And along with being in a long-term relationship, that "marital desire" is already implied on our ends. I feel it's best to see if he makes that move.
ReplyDelete"If he likes it, he will wife it, and throw some bling on it." -Sojo
great post. and oh- don't forget the chat tomorrow over on our site, 8pm Eastern/5pm Pacific (shameless plug, hence the above removal) LOL.
xo,
Sojo, FWB
No ma'am!! I would not! I am married now to a great guy who made me feel wanted and loved early on. I am an old school love type of gal! I believe the man should sweep you off of your feet, woo and pursue you and there will never be a question of if he ever really wanted to marry you!
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by my site!
loomslidslayers.blogspot.com
i believe in traditions so the guy MUST propose =)
ReplyDeleteHope all is well my dear, have a great weekend!
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Personally I wouldnt propose but I can definitely why she proposed. It is up to an individual I guess.
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I'm very much like you, I'd prefer the old-fashioned Disney proposal but I can understand why many women do propose. I love your blog; new follower! xxx
ReplyDeleteIm all for ladies going after what they want :) but there are certain situations, like this, where we have to take a step back and let OUR man BE a man. he proposes, and if you're ready to be married, you reply yes; and did you say give 'em a watch?! oh geesh -_- lol
ReplyDeleteOh no no way! not gona happen. I know some pple think ders no big deal in in (take Pink proposing to Carey) but i def wont. Nice blog. j'adore.
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